My Turn
by saradee
Summary: Sara and Cath swap secrets as they deal with Gil's return. FEMSLASH
1. Chapter 1

I never expected an invitation would change so much, but I am glad it  
did. It's not like we have not had drinks before. In all honesty I  
was only returning a favor. I pull up outside the lab, just as she  
had done, and we replay the entire scene, in reverse. This time it is  
her dejectedly stating 'Just drive'.

She helped me cope then, now it was my turn. I knew a drunken spill  
of emotions with unwanted tears falling in to a beer mug at a bar was  
not what she needed or deserved. So I went by the liquor store,  
bought a case of Budweiser bottles (I know that's what she prefers),  
and headed to my place. She looked at me quizzically as we drove up  
at my apartment; I smiled reassuringly and nodded my head toward the  
door.

I unlock the door and ask over my shoulder "Would you like to change  
into something more comfortable, before we start drinking, I have a  
feeling nether of us will be able to drive, and that way when you  
crash you will at least wake up comfy?" She half chuckles, half  
sighs "Yes that would be nice, good thinking there Sidle".

I place the beer on the counter inside the door and have her follow  
me to my room where I give her a gray tank -its tight on my so it  
should be an ok fit, and some lil gray- what are suppose to be  
Capri's - though end up looking like work out pants on her. I can not  
stifle a giggle when she returns form the bathroom fully changed.

She glares at me "Watch it Sidle, I can not help it if you are half  
Amazon"

I smile back at her and cockily retort "Well at least I am not half  
elf Gab--humpf. The rest of my sentence is cut off as she throws a  
pillow from the couch at me. I smile at her again and hand her the  
pillow, maybe I shouldn't smile so much, knowing she is hurting, but  
I can not help it, she makes me smile.

"Earth to Sara! Sara! Sit you are staring at me." She shakes me out  
of my ponderings.

"Sorry I was just thinking, I haven't even asked you if you are ok,  
are you?" I ask my voice full of concern.

She takes a deep breath and sighs in to the pillow I handed her. She  
is sitting at the end of my couch, beer in one hand, her other arm  
wrapped around the pillow and her legs folded beside her on the  
couch. She stares in to the pillow "I didn't sleep with him, he  
wanted to, he tried, hell I almost tried but I couldn't"

Minutes of awkward silence pass as we both sip at our beers, this  
isn't what I expected from her, I want to know more, but I know I  
have to give her time, she has to be ready to talk.

She downs a good bit of her beer, and sighs again "I know you know  
how it feels to want someone, someone you believe you will never  
have...You got lucky. Me, I just could not be another notch on the  
bed post; I am tired of being with someone only in the bedroom. And  
as hard as it is I would rather be alone, then with the wrong  
person. Anyway I knew for him it would be meaningless, and I just  
can not do that anymore." She stares into her bottle, nice break for  
me because I know my mouth has the ability to catch flies right now.  
I am stuck somewhere between perplexed and stunned.

"What? Uh um who? Hum" I finally stutter out and continue to stare at  
her confusion written all over my face.

What the hell is she talking about I got lucky - with whom? And who  
has she got it for that she can not have? She's Catherine she can  
have anyone, Oh God except, Oh I want to puke -swallow swallow and  
breathe -she can't have Warrick. Some CSI I am. She can't have  
because he is married -She had said once that it hurt her that he  
didn't tell her, but she had also said that it was more to do with  
their comfortable flirting. She explained it once they flirted with  
each other because they knew it would never mean anything more -their  
friendship meant more- God I am so stupid. And Why? Why am I lucky  
because the object of my unreturned desires has become my friend -  
surely she knows that is more painful then pining for someone you  
know you can not ever have. Because then you get to hear, about how  
they want someone else, worse as a friend you have to support them. I  
shake my head and refocus my attention on her -this is about her,  
being here for her.

"I am sorry about Warrick" "WHAT!"

"I know about you and Gil" "WHAT!"

We both state at the same time the shock is mirrored on our faces, we  
eye each other in confused silence. Damn I am glad I was not drinking  
at the time I would have spewed beer everywhere. GIL- What the hell!!  
Years ago!

She stares at me with what I can only describe as  
disappointment "Sara, I know about you and Gil, hello the looks, the  
touches -kind of hard to miss, besides have you watched him when he  
says your name -obvious much. What the hell has Warrick to do with  
this?" she pauses before it registers and I swear it's like a  
light bulb went on "Wait you think Warrick is ...I nod in  
affirmation."NO NO God NO uhm no not Warrick, I told you that He  
and I just weren't like that, we are complicated, but not like that."

"Well HELLO neither are Grissom and I, years ago yes I thought I  
liked him ok, but we both realized after Brass was shot that ...well  
we have just enough in common to never work out, and that is what has  
changed between us. We are closer now, yes, but not like that Cat,  
never like that."

I inhale deeply knowing I am about to have to explain myself further,  
well I know in my job, no time like the present -its all we know we  
have. Time to bite the bullet I guess, my turn to really open up.

I put my half empty bottle on the table, and turn towards her. I do  
not want to be able to blame drunken ramblings on tonight. I need her  
to know that I am soberly comfortable with being open to  
her. 'Alright balls to the wall Sidle, balls to the wall', I tell  
myself. Well I thought I was only telling myself, but the fact that I  
am now wearing her mouthful of beer -tells me that it was out loud.

"Oh god ha ha Sara I am hee hee so sorry haha " and with that she  
literally rolls off my couch laughing.

I look down at my shirt then at her in the floor and start to smirk,  
but it hits me how funny it really is and I double over laughing  
myself. Once we have both regained a little composure I go to change  
shirts -as I have no desire to smell of beer. I chuckle slightly as  
she taunts me from the other room "I can not believe you call  
yourself Sidle, man do you need to get out more."

'Ha out, if she only knew, oh right she's about too.'

I return to her on the couch still holding the pillow, but her beer  
has joined mine on the table.

"So SIDLE, (she grins) what do you need to say Balls to the walls  
for -spill"

I stare at the pillow as I speak not quite having the courage to look  
her in the eyes just yet.  
"Cat, Grissom and I can not be together ok. When Brass got shot I  
realized I really did need to wake up and smell the coffee. Gris did  
come home with me that night, to talk. And talk we did well into the  
next day, but that was all. Gris is missing a few key parts that are  
required in a relationship with me, knowing that -admitting that drew  
us closer, but only as friends."  
She looks confused. Another deep sigh from me and I continue "I can  
not emotionally attach to males Cat, because I want a woman." I leave  
the fact that it's her I want out and finally look up at her.

It is her turn to catch flies now as her mouth hangs agape at me.

"So you never slept with Gil? And your Gay, ok hmm I am gonna use  
your bathroom now"

She hastily scurries to the bathroom leaving me to wonder if it was a  
mistake to tell her.

Cat returns from the bathroom, her face a bit wet, but with a little more color then when she left.

My heart is racing and I am kicking my self for telling her "Hey um you alright, I am sorry…..

She crosses the room and puts her finger to my lips

"Shhh Sara, don't apologize. It is a lot to take in, but I am glad you told me."

I think she just told me she was glad, but I am too distracted by her finger still on my lips to be sure. Damn am I glad I didn't finish my beer otherwise I know it would be very difficult to keep my self from softly sucking her fingertip into my mouth kissing it and swirling my tongue Ah shit why can't my brain just think things instead of allowing my body to take over. I bolt up from the couch and try to stutter out some incoherent apology for my brash actions.

"I uh uhm…."

When all the sudden I am pulled back to the couch and she has pressed herself to me, her lips on mine. Oh dear God does this feel amazing. I feel her maneuver herself on top of me pinning me on my back beneath her on the couch. Sweet hell what have I got myself into this time.

She pulls back form the kiss and looks down at me. "Stop apologizing Sara, and for fucks sake let me get a word in" She smirks at my still open in protest mouth. "First, you are not the only one that had to be re-introduced to the proverbial coffee pot; I have had to do a lot of coming to my senses lately too. Hell that is why I decided I can no longer be the notch in the bed post. "

I know she is still speaking her sexy mouth is still moving, but so are her fingers. Currently they are blazing a trail down my neck and across my shoulders, down my arms. I can not decide if I am in heaven or hell right now. I want her so bad I swear I can almost taste her, but I know I won't take advantage of her while she is hurting; I am not the one she wants.

Oh shit, I missed something, she's looking at me, and she's waiting for me to say something.

"SARA! Did you hear any of that!?! Damn it woman I profess my deepest desires and secret love and you, and you, you what, go lurking off on some mind tangent! HELLO!!"

Her eyes flash between hurt and anger, ok think quick gotta salvage this what was that part about desire and secret what oh jeeze ..I surge forward claiming her lips once more with mine, pulling her down to me. I may not know exactly what her mouth said but her body definitely likes my answer now.

Her hips rock into me as my fingertips dig into her back, I want this too much to let her go. She moans into the kiss her mouth ravenous, her tongue dueling with mine each exploring. I whimper with need when she pulls back form the kiss and sits up. "Sara I" she stops mid sentence and stills my wondering hands from grazing up her thighs. "Sara pay attention, then you can" smiling a feral smile "explore all you want." Her eyes lock with mine and I know she means business. "I know we will have to talk eventually, but we are both adults here so let's get this out of the way okay? I want you, I have for years. I want to try and make a go of things with you, if you're willing, but I can't do this if it's just tonight."

I sit up, holding her hand in mine and I feel the tear slide down my cheek "Cat, I couldn't be, I couldn't do that. Damn it Cat don't you know? It's always been you. I have wanted you since that first day in your office, but things changed when I really got a chance to work with you. I started falling for you, hard. I want to try making an US if your willing, you know dinner dates dancing the whole shebang, and we don't have to"

I am silenced as her lips once again crash in to mine.

"Oh yes we do have to Sidle I want you, NOW!"


	2. Chapter 2

Knowing that words are lost now, I stand up and take her hand leading her to my room, my bed. I know it sounds cheesy, but I believe that's how the first time is suppose to happen, and heaven only knows how long I have fantasized about this moment, her hand in mine as she follows me to the bed. I graze my fingers up her arms, across her shoulders, up her neck and cup her face as I bring her in and kiss her with every ounce of passion inside me. She immediately steps into me, her body flush with mine, our hearts racing, our breaths heavy, my entire being is on fire, if I were not so very wet I would be afraid of combusting.

My Turn 2

I am brought out of my thoughts by her ripping my shirt over my head, followed mere seconds by my bra (something tells me she has done this before). She starts undoing my pants as well when it finally dawns on me she is still fully clothed, but not for long. I still her fingers just as she unzips my pants; it's my turn to get her in a state of undressed. I ever so slowly graze my fingertips up her sides taking her shirt with them. I kiss her quickly before her face disappears briefly under the fabric. Then claim her lips again as her shirt hits the floor. I kiss my way down her neck, over the swell of her breast and place one chaste kiss on the plastic clip in between her breast before flipping it open with my finger tips. With one hand on each cup I glide the bra down her arms and let it drop to the floor. I stare for a moment in disbelief at the perfect beauty that is Catherine Willows and the fact that she is here, in my room, half naked... The mere word naked shakes me from my thoughts once again (damn I think too much), I decide to stop thinking and start feeling. I bring both hands up and grasp her breasts, clutching them and claiming them. I bend down and take one into my mouth, engulfing the nipple. I slide my hand down between us and make short work of the tie in her pants, giving them a quick tug on either side I feel them fall to the floor. She steps out of them as my eyes rake down her body.

"Breath taking" I husk out as my lust filed eyes finally meets her hungry stare. I am literally thrown to the bed, as she pounces on top of me. Wild Cat really does do her justice. I can not recall exactly how or what happened to our prospective thongs, but I can say they were found the next day, on opposite sides of the room (mine hanging from the volume nob on the stereo and hers behind the dresser). I do however know exactly every moment of her making love to me and oh me oh my, oh was she amazing!

Her hands and lips blazed trails across, down, over and around my body. Every where her hands went her mouth soon followed. I grasped at her hair as her lips captured my nipple. I clung to her shoulders as her mouth ventured lower. My finger tips took up residence in her scalp as her tongue entered me. My hips rocketed off the bed as her tongue swirled around my clit. She sent me to the moon and back before I was finally able to pull her up next to me in the bed. I kissed her long and slow, memorizing her entire mouth, skillfully tuning our bodies to where I was on top. I looked down at her, both of us breathless, and smiled as wickedly as I could muster "My Turn" I growled before beginning my own oral onslaught.


End file.
